:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
