you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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