nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
