oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
