3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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