you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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