Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
