That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
NoShamevember. You game?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
