So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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