He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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