my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
North Korea, Best Korea!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize