I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
