well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
