I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
