No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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