I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
