fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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