one might say we're banned from that church
where am i from again
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How's work?
Spinning.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
