Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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