Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
