how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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