i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
