i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
