Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
