I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
