Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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