I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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