i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
