Small penises have feelings too.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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