Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
