I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize