Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
