watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
