This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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