whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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