ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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