i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
