this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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