i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
