Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
