just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
