Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
