I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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