On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize