I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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