My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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