i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
