More tranny stories later!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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