her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
