Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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