ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
