All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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