where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
