I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
