He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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