I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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