I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
