party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
