WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
