your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
